April, 2022 - 18Disabled

Not the uniform in 2006, but you get the idea.

The worldwide, special operations community is pretty small and over the years, I’ve been priviledged to work with and learn from, units from all over the world. The job attracts a certain kind of person, so, the personalities are very similar despite, the different equipment, tactics, and languages.

When it comes to language barriers, the right interpreter is worth their weight in gold, because they don’t just directly translate the words, but also the idioms, cultural cues, and even subtle nuances of body language and gestures. As you might imagine, this is vitally important when interacting with someone whose language you don’t speak, but maybe it’s just as important when conversing in a language thought to be common to both parties.

For example, my native language is English but back in Afghanistan in 2006, I learned that when among troops from the UK, we might all be talking in English, but we weren’t speaking the same language.

I didn’t know then, but I know now, that when a British officer slaps his knees, says, “Right!”, and stands up, that means the meeting is over and the annoying young American medic, (“Who the devil invited him to this briefing anyway?”), needs to stop asking questions and “what iffing” everything to death.

Later, his Sergeant Major had a “quiet” word with me outside the briefing room. He was of Scottish descent and though his body language was unmistakable, there were parts of his spoken English that were a little less clear.

When he began, he used many of the same words I had often heard in my own Army (universal, I guess) and I had no doubt that he was very put out with me. Then, in two separate sentences, he called me a “weapon”, so I began to relax, knowing all was well and that he obviously thought I was sharp, keen, and maybe even a bit dangerous.

I later learned that he did not, in fact, think that I was sharp, or keen. He did probably think that I was dangerous, but only to myself if I should ever be left alone and unsupervised…….. with string.

There was something lost in translation.

Remember when I talked about your healthcare team? You know, the one that I think you should be the head of? You might all be talking in English (or your native language), but you are probably not speaking the same language. I’m not suggesting that you go take a course in medical terminology, Greek, or Latin, but I am suggesting that it is very…..very important that you and your healthcare provider(s) understand each other completely.

The burden is on all parties involved, but it’s your health, so maybe it should be even more important that you understand fully and are understood fully. Like I’ve said before, both my neurologists are wonderful and know more about multiple sclerosis than I ever will, but they don’t have MS. As much as I wish it wasn’t, my MS is mine. It is unique to me and I’m (unfortunately) the expert on it. If you are not already and are capable of it, you should be the expert on yours. This includes communicating clearly about medications (including the cost and availability), pain levels, emotional changes, cognitive changes, quality of life issues, mobility problems, sensations and the lack thereof, etc, etc, etc.

Speaking the same language is even more important when communicating with your non-neuro providers. My wheelchair makes my multiple sclerosis “visible”, or at least quickly “discoverable”, but yours may not be. Your family doctor may need to be reminded that your MS related choking/aspiration risk is why you’re concerned about getting a pneumonia vaccine. Your orthopedic doctor may need to be reminded that your weak grip or inability to raise that arm on your more affected side is probably just MS and not because of a torn anything. Your optometrist needs to know that you’re seeing double, or having eye pain most likely because of your MS. Your physical terrorist……..I mean therapist needs to know when you have MS fatigue and that it’s not the same as being tired, weak, or having a bad attitude. (Mine does, I’m just giving him a hard time).

The list of examples goes on and on. Don’t let anything related to your health and well being get lost in translation. Please be clear with your providers and ask for clarity when you need it.

For the record, several of my providers think I’m a “weapon”, but they’re clear about it.

Is there anything that can’t be cured with snake oil?

The term quack originates from quacksalver, or kwakzalver, a Dutch word for those who claim to have knowledge and skill that they do not possess, particularly in medicine. The quack makes exaggerated claims about his or her ability to heal a disease or condition, generally for financial gain.

As best I can determine, the term “quack magnet” is from ‘Science Based Medicine’ by Harriet Hall, MD. It describes those who, for a variety of reasons, are the primary target of “quacks” selling all sorts of devices, diets, supplements, etc that claim to cure a disease or condition.

This one even claims to be an alternative to quack medicines

Multiple sclerosis is a life altering disease that has no cure. Maybe I should say that again. Multiple. Sclerosis. Has. No. Cure. (yet). All the positive attitude in the world cannot completely overcome the misery of being sick with nothing available except various forms of symptom relief and this makes us….yes, I’m part of us…., desperate and vulnerable. That desperation for a solution makes us a magnet for people who want to profit off of it. We are quack magnets (get it?). Don’t like that? You shouldn’t like it. Feeling suddenly defensive? Don’t worry, I’ll soften the blow a little, in a later paragraph.

I can’t date this ad, but I imagine those prices would be significant in today’s money. The desperate can almost always be counted on to pay for a “cure”.

See the word “Cure”? That’s the key word. That’s what we, (desperate people), want. For legal reasons, quacks don’t use that word anymore. These days, it’s “Beat”, “Overcome”, and so on. Also note the phrases, “Secret Formula”, “No Other”, “Beware of Imitations”, etc. If a quack is to take advantage of you, their solution has to be the only one that works and can only be obtained from them.

See, if only their product, solution, method, or plan works, then obviously, if it didn’t work for you, you did it wrong, didn’t try hard, or long enough, or didn’t spend enough to get the genuine article. If you really want this to work, if you really want to be cured,…..oops..I meant, really want to beat this, you’ll buy my second book, the next ancient moon rock, etc.

An unamed “medical specialist” compiled that **SCIENTIFIC** data. Glad it wasn’t just anyone, because that might make it suspect.

In case you were were on the fence because a doctor in a genuine lab coat wasn’t willing to take some money to endorse something dubious, you can relax. If you’re still not convinced, did we mention that he’s also a scientist, diplomat, and a friendly, sympathetic human being?

But Ben, those are old advertisements from the dark ages or something. People are so much smarter, more informed, and less gullible now. Really, put “doctor”, “specialist”, and/or “science” in your ad today and see how many people blindly accept it as fact. Legitimate advertisers do it because it works so well. The difference is, they can usually back it up.

Because of my background, I am unimpressed when something is touted as “military grade”. A little digging will show you that the term basically means, “good enough”. Similarly, if you see, “studies show”, “experts say”, “science says”, etc, you owe it to yourself to not be automatically impressed and just take it on blind faith. Look at the images above again if you need to be reminded of those kinds of words used as endorsements.

I said I would soften the blow. If losing weight and exercising makes you feel better (it should, by the way), you should absolutely do it. A particular diet may ease some symptoms for you, but MS is different for all it’s sufferers, so what works (not cures) for one may not work for another. The same applies to supplements and even the various DMTs* available. Remember, if someone implies that MS is a one size fits all disease and that their solution is the only one, that’s a dead giveaway that they’re a quack out to separate you from your money.

Look, really, if it makes you feel better, happier, and doesn’t hurt you, or anyone else, then who am I to tell you what to do with your money? Just come to terms with the idea we’re quack magnets and make your decisions accordingly.

*Disease Modifying, Treatments